New tickling punishment for shoplifters

A large retail company has apllied for planning permission to build several sets of wooden stocks to erect outside the main entrances to several of their stores in the United Kingdom in order to punish shop lifters.

Anyone caught stealing from any of their super stores will have the option of either being taken directly to the police station to be dealt with or being secured into the stocks, barefoot for a day. A sign next to the stocks reads, “I am a shoplifter please tickle my feet and punish me. There will also be a good supply of tickling implements.

A spokesman for the store, Lord Sanders, says he has the approval of local police and quotes Jim Desney, chief of police for the Liverpool area as saying, ” Anything that lightens our work load that can be supplied by companies is indeed welcomed by us.”

However, several councilors and two MP’s across the UK have called the measures draconian and humiliating especially as most of the shoplifters, it is estimated will be women. Lord Sanders has pointed out that no person under the age of 18 will be given the “Stocked and tickled” option.


Planning permission has now been granted and several sets of stocks have been erected across the UK. The first shoplifting victim of the new “Option” Patricia Jones will be secured, barefoot into the stocks for 16 hours starting at 10am, 13 November 2010. The store expects to atract large crowds and just in case nobody wants to tickle Patricias feet, members of have been signed up to help with the first tickling.

We have learnt from undisclosed sources that Patricia is an 18 year old single mother with very little money and thats why she attempted to shop lift a bag of nappies costing £3.99 Patricia has also told reporters that she is terrified of her punishment as she is unbearably ticklish on her feet. Her feet are a size 3 UK by the way, for anyone interested. Watch this space for a full review of Patricias day of punishment. Femfeet is sorry to hear that no pictures or videoing of Pats fate will be allowed on the day.

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7 Responses to New tickling punishment for shoplifters

  1. Vennessa says:

    Well I’m a young single mum living in England and although I don’t condone shoplifting I think this kind of punishment is barbaric. To actually encarserate somebody in wooden stocks and then tickle their feet all day long is just cruel..shame on you, whatever store you are

  2. Mrs Mills says:

    This is my daughter that you are talking about and its an ASOLUTE OUTRAGE of human decency. My poor daughter cannot afford a fine or to have a criminal record, so she had to submit to being tickled. Well I know my daughter and I can tell you she cannot bear having her feet touched at all. She is walking around like a zombie at the moment because she is so afraid of the punishment that is going to be inflicted on her. She told me she would rather be stripped naked and flogged rather than have her feet tickled. I just cant believe this is going to happen to her in a civilised country.

  3. Danny Boy says:

    Well you know what they say, “If you cant do the time, dont do the crime”. Your Daughters a shop lifter and I hope she suffers unbelievable agony when she gets her feet tickled. I will be there with my camera, really enjoying watching her suffering, cant wait LoL

  4. FTK says:

    So the little bitch is a shop lifter, I hope she gets tickled unconcious and then revived with a bucket of cold water. I just hope I am able to get there to give her a taste of my toothbrush on her soft soles, no mercy hah ha

  5. admin says:

    Well thats the first tickling over and done with, and apparently it took place in Bristol. This info was kept secret till the last minute, but far too many people attended and it caused massive traffic jams around the store. Apparently Vennessa was taken to hospital at the end of her ordeal. We await further news

  6. FTK says:

    I have heard on the grapevine that another female has been caught shoplifting and has signed up to be tickled for 16 hours instead. By the way, dont know if anybody already knew this but they are not allowed to go to the tiolet in that 16 hour punishment slot. Patrisha actually pissed herself several times during the day and was made to sit in it. Maybe this is a bit harsh?